2000.

The New Year has begun. Everything is readiness for the move to Brampton. It is with sadness I am leaving the Dolls House. It has been fun experiencing life one the end of a set of terrace houses. I have been lucky enough to have good neighbours on both sides and I will miss Dolly calling to Chook and the rest of the Travelling fraternity who visit them. I am always included in their get togethers. I will miss helping Chook groom his horses in the back lane. Thank goodness I have the photographs of the beautiful Dale horses being led up the lane and children being given rides on the backs of the big horses. I am going to miss Lady, sitting at my back door waiting for her treat. I will Sharon and the boys, always ready for a chat and sharing good company. Everyone made Kent and me feel as if we belong. There is always a parking space outside our house when Kent comes home on Friday evening after spending the week at the Base.

It is hard to celebrate Australia Day, when you are the only Australian. When I was small I used to think it was a public holiday for my mother's birthday. I was very impressed that my mother was so important. Small wonder they laughed at me when I was asked the significance of the day, to declare it's my mother's birthday. The English don't celebrate St. George's Day as a public holiday. I am not sure if too many people realise their heritage. What has happened to classical education?

Zoë has celebrated her fourth birthday. The postage on her present cost more than the present. I hope she likes the book. We haven't seen her since moving to Waiouru. Helen and Alan split and as is the way, Helen has custody. It is so sad that Kent has not the opportunity to see his grand daughter growing. I will make sure she gets birthday presents and Christmas cards from us, so long as we have Helen's current address. Helen doesn't write to us, so we have no way of knowing.

I will have to find another job. The one I had to start on the 4 Jan has fallen through for the want of a British passport. I was interviewed in September last year. My passport photocopied, all the security clearance request forms completed and offered the job subject to security clearance. We came back from our holiday in Barbados to receive a letter, stating that the offer has been withdrawn. It is not necessary for Defence to disclose the reason, but I was lucky to have a sympathetic recruiter. Somewhere in the regulations it states that the post I was appointed to, the appointee must be a British Citizen. Red rag to a bull - I had the security clearances required (took nearly four months), I have worked for Defence in several countries and never was my nationality a pre requisite. I am writing to the Minister of Defence and appealing the decision. What are they worried about, once the Secrecy Oath has been signed that's it.

It is Neil's birthday today. I hope Kent is not upset with his Valentine's Day Card.

I am trying to balance life and keep it normal. Settling into the new house. I moved the roses and some other plants from Balby and have them replanted in the garden here. I did not wreck the garden left behind in Balby and from reports it is looking really good. The new lady who has moved into my dolls house loves the place. The garden is in added bonus for her. Sharon says she misses my company and my sense of humour. I must admit I try to see the funny side of a situation. She says Lady still gets under the fence and sits at the back door waiting for me.

Life is so quiet here. I am missing the noise of Balby. Some times I feel like I am the only person alive. The garden is thriving, and of course digging on a cold day certainly clears the senses.

A letter arrived from the Secretary for Defence and also one from John Major. I cannot get the decision reversed, but I can apply for a British Passport next February. Being married to a British National reduces the time from five years to three years. I have spoken to Jan, who says the job offer is there once I have the right documentation. I have to admit, I did sarcastic in my letter of appeal. I named some of the spies Britain has had and they all held British Passports, also adding 'We are going to bomb Australia, don't tell Phillipa'. I can work anywhere else in Defence being Australian, but not in the particular area I have been trained for. On with the search for a new job.

I still have regrets about not keeping my promise to go home last year. To be truthful, I don't think either of us, could face the prospect of seeing everyone and knowing Neil would not be celebrating Christmas. Barbados helped us come to terms with our grief and maybe the next Christmas will not be so emotional. It is the cowards way out, but we have to cope in our own fashion.

Airtours have offered compensation for the fiasco of the flights and the baggage problem. A nice offer too. I am happy with it, but I am not sure if we will travel with them again. Some of the cabin crew need lessons in manners and as for the Reps, they need to go back to basic customer service courses.

I have a job. Working on a project for a Charity. I am not sure if I will fit in, everyone seems very quiet and I can be a bit noisy. The English are so reserved. Polite smiles and not sure if they should laugh openly. Or at least that is how it appears to me. The job seems not to be taking off, I still have my reservations. Why can't people be like Australians and Kiwis, open and not so wary. At the moment it seems I am working week to week, with not apparent permanency. It is unsettling. Added to that I have to watch my P's and Q's. The Line Manager has already spoken to me and I think it is unfair about the complaint. It is an open office, everyone knows what is going on and to be truthful, I think the person who made the complaint should think twice. I am not sure if I really want to stay working in an atmosphere like this. I can't do right for doing wrong it seems. At least my competence is not being questioned and I am enjoying the work.

I have been offered a twelve months contract. I have accepted but still have reservations. I am becoming cynical about peoples motives. I keep hearing about the wonderful team that used to work in the office before the present team. People should not be compared with predecessors. Each person brings their talents to a position. If they are not working as they should, then that is time to have cause. Everyone is too polite to say anything about this problem.

Nathan is 19 today. My eldest grandson has passed from childhood. I wonder what the future will be for him?

ANZAC Day - no-one here seems to know what it is. Still I am going to keep the heritage in my little of corner of the world. It is just another working day.

I am enjoying living here. The village is quaint, with narrow winding streets, thatched roofs, the old with the new, but a village. One of the pubs looks as if it is bending in the middle. It is ancient, built around 1600. I have discovered a wonderful garden centre. Every time I go there I think of Mandy and Rodger. I wonder how their garden centre is thriving?

My new old car is providing me with freedom. It has taken nerve to venture out on to the motorways. I have taken some ribbing at work about driving. We have managed so far with one car, but Kent starts too early for me to arrive at work and wait around until the others arrive, so wheels for me. Thank you Bev for helping me.

We have been to Chester with its two level roads. We seem to luck it each time on our trips to new places. The day was warm and sunny and we really enjoyed what the town had to offer. I got caught in the time warp. Why is it when I visit these places, I seem to drift back in time? The wall around the town still bears the marks from the cannon balls of the Civil War. Kent never fails, we nearly ended up in Wales. He cannot navigate, but I am lucky we do see some wonderful places. Unplanned stops and surprising.

Hmm… Glen has a new love, he is so demanding. This young lady must be special. To put up with my son and his ways. I love him dearly and would never swap him, but I feel there are times………

Just back from Norfolk lavender farm. A side trip to Sandringham was included. Kent did it again. Life is never dull and our adventures lead to more interesting places. We are going back next Spring to walk the gardens while they are in bloom. I have some wonderful ideas now for presents to take back home when we visit. I have tasted the most succulent strawberries. It is with sorrow I have to confess, they didn't survive the drive back home. I couldn't stop eating them. I ate Kent's share also. He did have some. At least I am not scoffing chocolate.

We're off to Florida. Two weeks of lazy days, sun and water. We are not going to Disney World. I am going to swim with the dolphins and manatees. Who are taking us? Airtours. Surely we can't have two trips from Hell. Watch this space.

The project is taking off. Apart from personalities, the paper work is interesting and to see the development happening is another reason to hope it will be a success. I know this type of thing has been tried before, and eventually failed. It is for the best intentions, but people are fallible.

The garden is paying me back for the hard work. The roses are blooming and the rest of the plants seem to be thriving. Spring was beautiful with the greetings of daffodils in their yellow skirts. The lavender is flowering, as is the jasmine. My garden is a perfumed delight. Neil's rose is developing magnificent blooms and I always seem to have a yellow rose in the house. How can I forget his big wide smile with such beautiful flowers to remind me of him? Not that I need a flower to keep his memory alive. He will always be in a corner of my heart. I did try to be his wicked stepmother, but never succeeded. He wouldn't let me.

Ely Cathedral, it rises like a ship on a wave. It is being restored and we will have to go back to see it once it is finished. Again, the sun smiled on us as we explored the town. Oliver Cromwell has left his mark all over the place. My photograph album is expanding.

Kea is not well. A bacterial infection and I am afraid if she doesn't respond to treatment, we may have to have her put to sleep. She is such a beautiful cat and to see her so ill is sad. The other cats seem to know what is happening, but I can't run the risk of them becoming ill. Time will tell.

Oh joy, Kea has responded to treatment. The vet asked if she liked being groomed. I must admit, while she has been ill, I haven't forced the issue of a daily combing. She has been too distressed for that, so I let her rest. Her appetite is returning to normal and I don't care if she is eating sirloin steak. She can as much as she likes. Noel is tentatively trying to play with her and she is responding to him. I think they all missed her bossing them around. Purdy is not that impressed. Means she will not longer be able to queen it over the boys. The pecking order is being re-established.

Bags packed, cats off to the cattery or at least the boys are, the girls are staying home, with a cat sitter looking after them. I want Purdy and kea to have time out for themselves in their own surroundings. The boys will be fussed over at the cattery. The owners are cat people. The place feels right. I am getting excited. We are staying overnight at a hotel in Crawley to catch the early flight, Gatwick here we come.

Florida was wonderful. So much like home, but also very different. So many places visited, and yes the dolphins and the manatees happened. We are both nut brown and feel so great. It rained and a hurricane warning was issued. We were in downtown St. Petersburgh when the winds whipped through. All we could do was seek shelter under some eaves. It was so sudden. I have shopped, replenished my lingerie drawer, bought a new summer suit and some more jewellery. We have been down to the Keys and seen so much in two weeks. Every day we made time for the beach. I really enjoyed walking along the sandy beaches at sunset, then making our way back to the hotel for a quiet evening. We discovered a little Italian restaurant and were starting to feel like locals. I will say one thing, I am not a coffee drinker, so why does the coffee taste so good? I have to confess, Queensland has a strong rival in Florida. Beautiful one day, perfect the next.

Airtours surpassed our expectations. We stayed away from the Reps and did our own thing. Once in the car and away from the airport we had nothing to do with them. The only grizzle was the waiting outside in the heat, while Kent completed the formalities to obtain the hire car. I felt sorry for the families with young children having to do the same. Perhaps Airtours could look at improving that part of the reception for incoming passengers. There was some mix up, but he sorted that out. We did take a wrong turning leaving the airport and this time, Kent stopped and got directions. We had a drive from Stanford Airport across Florida to St. Petes and got there just after seven in the evening. It was a very long day for us.

Zach had his birthday while we were in Florida. Kent and I had fun converting English Pounds into American Dollars and then into Aussie Dollars to get the correct exchange rate. Do our grandchildren realise the trouble we go to with birthdays? I only hoped it arrived in time.

Back at work. I am not sure what is going on. It's not me the others feel the same. No-one will address the problem though. If it keeps up, I am not going to work in this atmosphere. It is nothing tangible. Just attitudes and inferences. This is not post holiday blues.

A great way to end Summer. A day at Bury St. Edmonds. Again we have entertainment laid on. This time in the form of military bands, giving an open air performances. Also, the Cathedral organist is giving a recital. We spent several hours listening to wonderful music. I love these days out. Exploring the ancient towns and having unplanned entertainment as well. It was a spur of the moment thing to go there. We had originally planned to visit Norwich, but for some reason, Kent headed in a different direction.

A week spoilt. I have been offered disability awareness training. I am not going to defend my actions. I have diarised the incident. I have also discussed it with colleagues and they are shocked by the allegations. Am I being pushed? Thank goodness I have the support of friends.

Another incident this week, not me this time. It is happening to others - something has to be done.

Janine and Danny have gone their separate ways. It is sad to learn of the unhappiness of your children. Janine has an effervescent personality and hopefully time will heal this wound for her. Zach and Brody are distraught over their Dad leaving home. All I can do is be an ear for them to sound their worries to. I can offer love but cannot put my arms around them. These are the times when it is so hard to be so far away.

Sarah and Skye have turned eighteen. Now I have to keep my promise, $500.00 each if they reach eighteen without getting pregnant. So many of their friends where getting pregnant for want of something to do. I made this offer years ago, when Skye told me of a friend was pregnant. The lass was fifteen. Something has to be lacking in their lives to want to do something so drastic. I am sure they don't realise what an impact that type of decision will have. Zach and Brody want to know if I will cut them the same deal. No way. I am not going moralise, I am the last person to do that. I did not want to see my grand daughters wasting themselves before they have the opportunity to experience life. The boys always get away with it. I pray my grandsons will not do the wrong thing.

It's nice to know there is another job waiting for me.

What a year - the impact on our lives. The flooding, the Hatfield train derailment, and more flooding. I am not sure about travelling on the trains again. This is what happens when profits become the motive.

The better things - a mortgage approval. The banking system is still in the 18th century, but we must be settling to the way of life.

Winter is approaching, the days are getting shorter and the nights longer and colder.

Christmas is here. Kent has surpassed himself with my present. I hope he likes my present. He is so hard to buy for. Brody should have received his birthday money before today. Birthday and Christmas just a day apart. Janine has always made sure he has had a party.

Father Francis has died. His passing will leave a void in so many lives. He was friend first, a priest second. He was never judgemental and my life will not be the same without his counsel. He was determined to get the school built and always making sure the pumpkin harvest was the first to the markets. It was these harvests that built the school. When he decided to learn to play the trumpet, he would come up to the school and learn with the children. He kept us entertained with his repertoire, some it good, some not so good. He persevered and mastered the thing. I am going to miss his big strong arms giving me a hug. Life at St. Michaels will be different. I loved teaching there.

How do I sum this year up? The family has had it's share of sadness, but are getting it together. Kent and I are counting our blessings and looking forward to another new year.

It's fantastic the way our friends have kept in touch. Robyn with her phone calls at odd hours. Dell with her chatty letters. Mandy and Rodger with the great e-mails. Rose, when she gets the time to put fingers to pen. Bev and Sharon up in Yorkshire, Phil and Carol in County Durham. Denise and Richard when time from farming and the Army allows. Tammy, my delightful ex student who keeps me up to date with all the happenings. Garry, who has been through thick and thin, his words of wisdom can be relied on. I have had contact with friends and family on a regular basis. I have to mention Dianna and Cindy, both in Texas who always send me sunshine. Our life is blessed with so many wonderful people.